Forcing Socialization

Let me say once again... I'm no expert.  I have nothing that qualifies me to give "expert advice" on raising a child with autism except that I happen to be doing just that.  But that's where you can draw the line.  And remember the popular saying, "If you have met one person with autism...you have met one person with autism."  Every individual on the spectrum is unique.  So that said...take my following "advice" with a grain of salt and just know your own kid.  What works for mine won't necessarily work for yours.  

It's been difficult to find time to write.  Last week was busy because it was Vacation Bible School at our church, Amazing Wonders Aviation.  It was an enlightening week for me as I watched Eli in this environment, and I think I have come to some important decisions about some choices I have been struggling with regarding Middle School (two years away).

But first, before I get to that, let me give a bit of Kudos where it's due.... our VBS is awesome! We generally pull in 70+ kids for the week.  Our event planner, Jodi, does an amazing job.  She's meticulous, organized, thinks every possible little thing through, plans out every minute detail for six consecutive days down to the last possible cookie needed....she does a great job!  

The VBS days of my childhood were filled with a little bible study and doing a craft project, usually consisting of cinnamon sticks, ribbons and glue, to take home to mama.  I think I remember us singing a song about the books of the bible at the end of the week for the parents.  That's all I remember about the VBS of my childhood.  Yawn.

Jodi, on the other hand, plans out and organizes a six day program for our kids that would put any event planner to shame!  I don't think anyone realizes the amount of time and energy that goes into the preparing for VBS!  She makes it an all out performance with music and video and dancing and singing and stations and games and valuable teachings and snacks and water play, not to mention the big to-do that occurs on the last night!  Surely our children are going to receive a lot more worthwhile memories of their VBS experiences! 

Our worship leader for VBS is Jenn and she gives it her all!  She spends a month or more learning every song, every word, every movement, every dance step and then, with great energy, she leads our children as they learn the songs each night.  Jenn stands up there on stage twice a night, for six nights, and gets our kids pumped up and excited about Jesus! Then she ends every evening on a high note before they depart for home.  She dances and sings and gives of herself in such a positive way...the kids love her!  The kids love her sidekick, Dusty Twails, too!  Dusty has been played for the last three years by our beloved minister, Chris.  He's hilarious, loses himself in the role, dances, sings, acts silly and takes such pleasure in connecting with the children, who are delighted with the silliness and fun he brings to VBS!  What a wonderful experience for these children!

There are too many other folks to mention all by name but we have a lot of volunteers who give their All during the week in order to make the event a wonderful success. People who give their time, money and talents, who connect with our children and give them such love and positive experiences.  And so many other members of the congregation who donate supplies.  It's truly a "whole church" event!

You would think with such an amazing event that our church puts on year after year, summer after summer, Eli would remember and be more than happy to go!  But this is Eli we're talking about...our little man who doesn't care to leave the house.  When told it was time to go to VBS, I got a lot of, "Noooo!!!  I don't want to go to VBS!  Nooooo!!!!"   

Like anything that involves leaving the house - if it's not something of his own choosing, we have to force the issue with him.

Essentially we have to force Eli to socialize.

The lesson included popping a balloon to get the piece of paper inside.
Eli didn't want to pop his balloon. Here he's protecting it.

Clearly we have to make smart choices when it comes to forcing Eli to go do something he's resisting, and we have had to learn to pick our battles.  We try not to force him into situations where his lack of wanting to go will negatively effect him or other people.  No need to cause a meltdown. No need to ruin someone else's good time.

But we know from experience that Eli will have a blast if he goes to VBS.  He comes home every evening with fun stories, telling me what a great time he had.  It's a joy to hear him walking in the door with his big brother after another evening, laughing about something funny that happened!

Eli enjoyed running backwards to make his wand emit large bubbles. 

  Eli has fun with the other kids and enjoys laughing with them, but I do still see how he keeps himself apart from them too.  


He quite often chooses to stand apart from them ... that is, until he chooses to join them.  I don't force him to join, but let him do it at his own pace, in his own time.  But at least he's in a place where he is being given the opportunity to join in when he's ready.  


And last week, watching him, it occurred to me... he seems happy in both places!  When he stands apart, he seems content.  When he chooses to join in, he seems well accepted and has a good time, too.  It's such a comfort after the early years of no friendships.  It's a blessing.  

Sometimes I feel like Ferdinand the Bull's Mother... 

"His mother saw that he was not lonesome, and because she was an understanding mother......

she let him just sit there and be happy."
(The story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf) 

Eli's favorite night of VBS was the final night with the giant inflatable
water slide.  Here he is climbing up to take his turn.

If E had his way, he would stay home all the time.  He wouldn't have to go out into the world.  He could just stay in the house, wearing his hoodie sweatshirts, holding Monkey, watching cartoons and waiting for his next time slot to play video games.

He wouldn't be forced to go to school.  He wouldn't be forced to go to church.  

He wouldn't be forced to go to anywhere he didn't choose to go...in other words, 

any place he didn't deem "fun"!

Waiting in line for the giant water slide.  What a smile!

I think this realization alone is helping me to lean toward keeping him in public school, and lean away from online home-schooling.  

Fun but freezing!  Eli spent a lot of the time
wrapped in a towel trying to warm up in the sun.

Eli needs those interactions with friends!  I don't want him to lose those skills, simply because he would choose not to leave the house.  As it is right now, those times when he decides he's ready to interact with other kids, he is accepted.  He's learning social cues and interaction skills, and those are so important for any kid...but especially for one on the spectrum!  Eli's already got enough eccentricities which, as he ages, will begin to set him apart from those who are unfamiliar with him.  Helping him now to learn how to appropriately interact with his peers, and providing him with the opportunity to develop relationships with other children who accept him as he is.... there's just no way I'm willing to take that away from him.


Eli's favorite parts of this year's VBS was the big to-do on the last night, with a slip-n-slide and the giant water slide from Athens Inflatables.  Plus, Chris gave him a plastic, blow-up airplane on the last night, which has become a favorite toy.




Eli has also enjoyed reliving several funny moments from the week and has laughed and laughed.  This brings me great happiness, because...well, if you've ever heard Eli's laughter, you would understand.  It just fills a room with joy!

Some of Eli's favorite stories from this year's VBS involved the child who announced into the microphone one evening that she'd farted, which amused most people, but seriously cracked Eli up.  Another child was caught eating the wet cement they used to make their stepping stones project. When he was told he couldn't eat the cement, he smacked his lips and proclaimed, "...but it's good!"  Eli has laughed and laughed about those stories and derived such hilarity from both instances that, for him, it was those moments that made leaving the house all the more worthwhile to him!

Personally, I see the irony...I could totally see a younger Eli doing both of those things.  Definitely.

  

Lunchtime Quickie

Eli and his winnings

I wanted to share quickly how we spent Ash's birthday last week. 

On Thursday evening (actual birthday) Ash wanted to play penny-ante poker for his birthday.  We ate homemade pizza and then we all went in search of our pennies.  We keep baggies of pennies for this purpose. 

Ash started out well, and Ben had a few big hands, but Eli was our Big Winner of the evening, which thrilled him to pieces!  I, on the other hand, had very lousy cards for the most part.  I only won two hands and when I did, the pots were very miniscule.  I can't tell you how aggravating it was to finally have a flush, only to be beaten by 4 of a kind!  Ugh!  But it's all in fun, and we had a great time, laughing and just spending time together as a family. 

I could tell it was very stressful for Eli to learn how to play the game, even though he was having an absolute blast!!  His breathing became rapid - one of his tics and self-imposed coping strategies -- when the anxiety is overwhelming him, he just automatically starts in with the frantic, deep breathing. 

He was concentrating so hard on what was in his hand.  If we would nudge him to move a little faster on his decision (because he would take fooooorrrreeeeevvvverrrrrrr!) then he'd start to freak out a bit, get angry, squeal at us and the anxiety would overwhelm him.  The constant heavy/deep breathing was a part of the entire game, as he focused and strained to understand what he was seeing and understand the cards in his hand.   But he loved it and he did VERY well!  And as you can see above, he cleaned up! 

Sunburned Ash and Alexis at Texas Roadhouse for Birthday Steak

Saturday night we went to Texas Roadhouse for steak dinners -- Eli had shrimp instead, but that was okay!  There was a lot of giggling about our Grumpy Waitress who only smiled one time at us the entire evening and seemed annoyed to have to be waiting on us at all. 

Even when we asked for the big Birthday Yeehaw for Ash, Grumpy Waitress was less than pleasant, sighed and said (like she was bored), "Let me round everyone up..." as if it was her least favorite part of her whole night.  Poor Grumpy Waitress!  Pretty sure public service isn't for her!  Gave us a humorous edge to the entire night, however! 

 

Visiting the Cemeteries - Memorial Day Weekend Part 2

I love Memorial Day Weekend.  I love the three days off, that turning-point feeling of Summer Has Arrived!!!!, the family time and the downtime.  I always am mindful to mentally honor our fallen Military troops on this day, who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country...for you, and for me.  Thank you.  Thank you to the men and women who serve and to the families who have also sacrificed and suffer with pride and sorrow for their lost loved ones.

I am mindful this day is also a time to remember our own family members who have gone before us.  Memorial Day is a time for remembering...remembering our kin, our legacy, our history, our genealogy, our bloodlines, ... our memories.

Eli cleaning on his Grandma Emily's
headstone.  He never knew her, as she
died when he was only about 7 months old.

I want Memorial Day to mean more to my boys than just a long weekend.  So a few years back, we started a new tradition with the boys.  It's the day we remember our loved ones who have passed and honor them by checking on them.

It's the day we visit the cemeteries.

Only Ben's family is buried locally, so that's who we go to see.  (My family is buried in Washington Court House, Ohio, an hour and a half away and we haven't yet made that trek on Memorial Day Weekend ...but I long to, so perhaps next year I'll do better about planning it.)

Monday morning we loaded up the back of the CR-V with Clorox wipes, a bag of rags and four 1-gallon jugs of water and headed out.  First stop we made was at Memory Gardens, where Ben's mother, step-father, uncle and one set of grandparents are all buried.

We drove to the top of the farthest hill and stopped first at his mom's grave.  We all piled out and set about cleaning off the headstone.  It's hard for Ben to get up and down from the ground a lot because of his back problems, so Ash and Eli did most of our cleaning this Memorial Day.  Hi

Ben's step-father, Ralph, is buried here too.  It's wasn't in too bad of shape.  A little bird-poo, a little splattered mud and lots of grass clippings from where the grounds crew mows.  Because we go every year, though, it's well cared for and doesn't look neglected.  Eli never knew Ben's mom.  He was only a few months old when she passed.  Ash remembers her, but sadly, Emily never knew either of her grandchildren.  Early on-set Alzheimer's robbed her of this blessing.

Ash cleaning Grandma Emily's headstone.  

Ralph and Emily (McConkey, Brooks) Kail,
Ben's step-father and  Mother

Ash used to accompany Ben at the nursing home when he would go out to visit his mom.  Ash vaguely remembers her, but unfortunately only when she was ill.  Emily did not raise Ben for most of his childhood, and it makes my heart sad when I think how much she would have liked having grandsons, and how proud she would be of the good man Ben is.  I hope it honors her that we come to check on her and Ralph each year.

Eli and Ben scrubbing Uncle Ronnie's grave marker

Next, we moved over to Ben's uncle Ronnie's grave.  Ronnie was Ben's dad's brother and such a kind and good man. A severe car accident had left Ronnie scarred and broken, physically and emotionally, in his early adulthood.  He loved kids, but never had children of his own and Ben fondly remembers how he would be the only child in a house full of adults and it would be uncle Ronnie who would get down on the floor to play with and give some much appreciated attention to Ben when he was little.  He adored his uncle.  

   

Ben's paternal Grandparents -
Edward and Edna (Timson) Brooks

After we cleaned uncle Ronnie's headstone, we moved to a different section and located Grandma and Grandpa Brooks' grave. I never met Grandpa, but I grew up knowing Grandma Brooks, since Ben's cousin, Angie, and I were friends.

Grandma Brooks was a sweet, generous woman who learned about life during the Great Depression.  No matter how little she had, if you came into Grandma's house, she fed you.  She would have adored having great-grandsons!  She was a loving, giving woman and I wish our boys could have known her, but I feel blessed and honored that I at least knew this dear woman whom Ben loved.

At this point we left Memory Gardens and drove about 30 minutes to a little country cemetery in the Coolville area, located on a back-road off another back-road.  It's small and quaint and isolated.  This is where we visited Ben's Dad's grave.  The marker still hasn't been put in place, though it's been nearly a year and a half since he passed, so I have no photo of that one.  But we think we figured out which grave was his.  We didn't stay long, since there was nothing to clean, but I was still really glad we went there.  Hopefully by next year, the AMVETS will have the headstone, or plaque, in place.  

On our way out of the Coolville cemetery, Ben got stung by a bee on his wrist.  It flew off before we could identify it -- Ben never even saw the darn thing, but he sure felt it!  Because he has a tendency to react to stings, I always have Benedryl on hand.  Thankfully I had some in my purse, since the welt was quickly evident and you could see the area surrounding it (about the size of a baseball) beginning to redden and grow warm.  Thankfully again, we had drinks in the car, so he was able to take the Benedryl quickly and by the time we made the 30 minute trip back to town, the swelling was barely visible and the welt had shrunk down to hardly anything at all.  Whew!  Thank you Benedryl!

Ben cleaning Grandma &
Grandpa McConkey's headstone

Eli cleaned Grandpa McConkey's
military footstone

Last stop was the hardest.  As we returned to town, we went to the West Union Street Cemetery where Ben's maternal grandparents are buried.  These are the people who raised Ben from the time he was an infant until his teens. 

Grandma and Grandpa McConkey were who Ben considers to be his parents. He loved them so. 

I watched as Ben forced himself to get down on his knees and begin to clean their headstone himself.  It was a touching moment for me to see, knowing how physically straining it is for him to get down like that, and in doing so, he showed them such love and respect.  Grandpa died when Ben was around 13 or 14, and shortly afterward, Grandma was a passenger in a vehicle that was T-boned by another vehicle, causing her brain-damage.  She lived another 10 years in a nursing home, but was never the same.  Because she didn't know Ben anymore, he pretty much had lost her as well.  It was a painful loss for him, to lose both of these dear people so close together, and he was at such a young age. Makes my heart sad.

Arley and Sylvia (Robinette) McConkey,
Ben's maternal grandparents, and who raised him
from infancy to his teens.

After we cleaned their headstone and paid our respects, we headed home... a sense of accomplishment within us, a sense of family pride and a mild sense of sorrow...the kind that makes you sigh and smile gently.

I like that our boys are growing up doing this.  I hope one day when my spirit has moved on and my remains lie in the ground, that at least once a year, someone who once loved me will come to check on the spot where I lay; will sweep away the grass, wash away the bird-droppings and the dirt.  I hope they will continue this family tradition, and as they stand over my earthly body's resting place they will sigh and smile, and share some pleasant memories of days gone by.  And then I hope they head home to enjoy their weekend together, as a family, and make new memories of their own.

First Bath - Memorial Day Weekend Part 1

This past weekend was Memorial Day Weekend.  It was hot and sticky, but a totally glorious three-day weekend!! 

On Saturday, Eli had a plan. "Mom," he said to me. "Sami needs a bath.  She stinks, Mom.  Can we please give her a bath?"  

Now, I don't actually smell the dog.  I mean, she smells like a dog of course, but I don't find her offensive.  

Eli, on the other hand, with his super-nose and ability to be over-sensitized by the sensory-world surrounding him, has been complaining for a few weeks now that the dog stinks.  

I really like his initiative!  And since we do what we can to help him learn how to cope with life in general, this was a great opportunity to problem-solve!  If the dog smells and you don't like it, this is how you can take care of the problem.....  

And therefore a bath for Sami ensued late Saturday morning....

Eli was all about helping too!  He wasn't leaving it all up to me!  He wanted it done and was willing to step up to do it...he just needed me there for guidance and instruction.  God Love Him, he's such a great kid!  

Eli gathered up the towels and got stuff ready. He was so excited! We got the water run at the right temperature - not too hot, not too cold.  We led Sami to the bathroom like a lamb to slaughter, but after her initial freakout, she relaxed and seemed fine after once she was in the tub; and she actually seemed to enjoy the experience overall!  

Eli giving Sami her first real bath - May 26, 2012

For the remainder of the weekend Sami was all about walking into the bathroom and sniffing the tub, looking into the tub, licking the tub, and wagging at the tub.  I don't know how she'll feel about it when she's full-grown.  I hope she still likes it because once she's a Big Dog, because there's no way I'll be able to force her or lift her into the tub!  It would be great if she still likes the process and willingly steps into the tub for me! 

Sami patiently allowing herself to be washed

Sami REALLY liked the rub down with all the towels after the bath.  She laid there and enjoyed the attention and rolled over so we could dry her belly.  She was all bundled up and cozy and cute!  

Sami's favorite part was drying off.
She got all snuggly in the the towels!

After we freed her from the towels, she got the "Rips"... where she's so excited, she just RIPS around the house at breakneck speed, racing round and round until she wears herself out.  Eli laughed and laughed and called her a "Crazy Dog"!

She must smell better now.  I haven't heard him complain about her stinking since Saturday morning! 

I plan to get Eli trained well and maybe that's something he can do for her every couple of weeks or so as part of his chores.  

I wonder how long it will take before the novelty wears off and it becomes another, 

"Aw mom...do I have to?!" chore??

School's Out For Summer (almost!)

Eli has one more day of fourth grade to go!  Tomorrow is the last day of school . While he's celebrating and looking forward to those "long" summer days that stretch out before him....which actually pass rather quickly.... I'm feeling tearful that we have to leave behind Mrs. Mostamazingteacherever.  

And I think Eli has trouble with change?!?!

Ah well....all good things will come to an end.  God willing, next year will be a blessing for him too.  We did get a letter from the school yesterday indicating that Eli is eligible for the Honors Math Class they are creating. 

Wait...what?  My son?  The one who rolled around on the floor lamenting "It's Too Hard" and "I can't dooooo it!!" for an hour and a half while trying to do his math homework for the first three to four months of school this year???  An Honors Math Class?  Are you sure?

According to his OAA and MAP scores and a few other scores and grades they took into consideration, he certainly qualifies.  There's definitely a brilliant mind in that little red head and behind that ornery smile...never doubt it!  It's just a matter of convincing him to make the effort.

For the past two school years Eli has been eligible for the Talented and Gifted Program in Reading.  

Unfortunately, "eligible" does NOT equal "willing".  

He fought us tooth and nail about participating until we threw up our hands and said, "...then don't!"  See, he doesn't see it as an honor or something to feel good about.  Eli sees it as extra work and a mess up of his regular daily routine, so therefore in his mind, it's a negative thing.

Yesterday, I read the letter to him and explained what an honor it is to be so smart that you get to be in an HONORS class, and Wow! he must have scored so high on his tests, and blah blah blah, just trying to get through to him what it meant and how it was a big deal and a good thing, not a punishment.  I want this child to stop telling me that school is boooooooring.  He needs to be challenged, find school fun, and develop a fascination for discovering new things, because it's about to get a lot harder, and I'm desperately afraid we're going to lose him all together in the years to come.

He sat for a bit and listened to me.  He blinked at me.  He stared at me.  Finally, I said, "Look Buddy....there are so many things you're going to struggle with ... but then you're going to start realizing that there are OTHER things that you are going to be so much better at than most other people, and those are the things that you need to grab hold of with both hands and don't let go!"  I held up the letter...."THIS is one of those things!"

He blinked at me again and finally said, "Okay...I'll do Honors Math Class next year."

Gasp!!

Praying this is a turning point.  If we can help him to get interested in his academics and help him to build the desire to achieve, and work toward things on his own, to find a passion for learning and for doing really well, without forcing him to, without us being the "slave-drivers" and "homework enforcers".... oh, the possibilities that will open for him, just as it does for all children who discover a sense of self-initiative!  I am so keeping my fingers crossed!

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So...Farmers Market was awesome!  No pictures due to a dead phone.  Next time we go, I'll make sure my phone is charged up...I'd accidentally left it in my purse overnight, so no juice! 

Overall, the whole family seemed to enjoy the experience.  I showed Ash the strawberries.  I said, "See Ash...this is what size strawberries are really supposed to be, not those huge ones we get at the store."  Ash smirked and said, "I like my strawberries genetically engineered!", nodding and looking all smug and amused with himself.  

Then he tasted the REAL strawberries, fresh out of the field, at home later that day.  Now Ash is singing a different tune!  He didn't know they could be so sweet!  Yay!  Score one for Real Food!

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New Responsibilities

A week away from the next full moon and I'm starting to watch for signs of increased agitation in Eli.  The blinking tic had cleared up after the last moon began to wane, but it's starting up again.  The baby talking seems to be on the rise as well, but that's not hysterics or anger, so it's doable.  Eli's been pretty even-keel so far, and I have to wonder if Sami is already being a wonderful distraction for him.

Sami has been with us for a week now, and Eli's been entirely willing to have increased responsibility with her.  He is enjoying playing with her, feeding her, and taking her out to use the bathroom.  The novelty of it all hasn't worn off yet, and he just loves her so much!

Almost too much...he was perfectly willing to forgive Sami when she snapped at his face and her little needle-sharp tooth nicked his eyebrow.  Or the morning she lunged at him and slammed her head into his nose, giving him a five minute bloody nose before school.  "I'm okay!  She didn't mean it....I'm fine!"  She's just playing, but she's doing some serious damage to our Eli!

So we've had to lay down some ground rules.  When she's in a playful mood, Eli's not allowed to be down on the floor with her, or anywhere she can have access to his face.  Before she came to be with us, she'd been put in with the adult dogs for a couple of weeks.  Eli is about the same size as those big dogs, and we think she's trying to play with him the way she might have played with the larger dogs.  Sami doesn't understand that she can hurt him, that he's not a toy or another dog, or that she can't play rough with him.  So another new rule is that there's no rough-house playing, and no tug of war.  Sami cannot differentiate between what is okay to tug on, and what isn't.  So for now, there will be none of that.  When she's calm and sleepy, then he can snuggle with her, pet her and be down with her, because she doesn't bite at people or try to chew on everyone and everything when she's all sleepy.

Other than those things, she has adjusted quite well.  Housebreaking is a slow process, but that's to be expected.  We're crate training her and she seems to be doing very well with that!  She'll still cry a little, but usually 5 minutes or less, and she's doing really well with sleeping the night.  Overall, we're all learning mutual respect, and we're working with her to begin learning some basic commands.  It's going to take a while, but it will be worth it in the long run.  Sami is a sweet, sweet girl!  I'm with Eli .... I love her so much too!

I've been so impressed how involved Eli has been with her.  The dog has held his interest.  Yesterday, he took her outside on his own, clipped her to the run line and then the two of them sat together in the yard for some quality bonding time.  He loves to throw sticks and the tennis ball for her and Sami is proving what a talented "fetch" player she is!  She also loves to dig and carry sticks, as well as trying to eat them (we do our best to stop her from succeeding at that!)  I've noticed that when Eli is taking care of Sami, he comes across more mature, more like a kid who's about to turn 10 years old (which he is!), than the younger version of himself that he typically presents to the world.

Since Eli often acts so much younger than his years, it's easy for us to forget that he's not a tiny little kid.  I realized a little over a year ago that we were all babying him, doing everything for him, and assuming he wasn't capable of doing things for himself.  I saw it, and started making everyone else aware of what we were doing as well.

Eli wasn't thrilled with being suddenly forced to start doing things for himself.  There was a lot of whining, fits of frustration, proclamations of "I can't do it!  It's too hard!  Can't you just do it, this one more time?!"

But he did learn, it just took time and patience, and now he does so many things on his own that a year ago he didn't feel he could.  He packs his own lunch, he empties and loads the dishwasher when it's his week to do so, he takes his turn to clean the sink or toilet in the hall bathroom, he puts his clothes away, brings the dumpster up from the road and puts it back in place after the trash truck comes, folds loads of towels, and he takes his turns doing several other weekly chores.  Sure there's still a little whining and complaining about having to do it - heck, sometimes I whine about the things I have to do also - but gone is the day when Eli believes he can't do it.

Working with Eli to help him gain confidence has given me more patience than I once had, probably because it's been so rewarding.  It's fabulous to watch him decide to take care of his responsibilities, gathering up any supplies he might need, and tackling the job with confidence.  Helping him to learn these tasks has empowered him!

So if your child is dealing with challenges of his or her own, I urge you to help him be a part of your family team by having chores and responsibilities in the house, no matter how small.  Yes, it will require you to invest your time in helping him how to do the task, but eventually, your child will learn it, and how phenomenal will that be?!  It will be such a confidence builder!  Who doesn't love those "Hey Mom, look what I can do!!!" moments?! Our kids may not say it, but the effect on us parents is the same...maybe even greater.  I take such pride every time I watch Eli self-assuredly gathering up the toilet cleaner and toilet brush and head in to complete the chore that he knows perfectly well how to do, all by himself.  It's just one more thing I don't take for granted.

I think training Sami is going to have a similar effect on me.  Right now she's a puppy with her own agenda, but I know in time she'll learn.  I just have to keep working with her.  And I want Eli to be a big part of helping to train her.  I wonder if he'll experience the same kind of pride watching her one day that I experience when I watch him?