Sami has been with us for a week now, and Eli's been entirely willing to have increased responsibility with her. He is enjoying playing with her, feeding her, and taking her out to use the bathroom. The novelty of it all hasn't worn off yet, and he just loves her so much! Almost too much...he was perfectly willing to forgive Sami when she snapped at his face and her little needle-sharp tooth nicked his eyebrow. Or the morning she lunged at him and slammed her head into his nose, giving him a five minute bloody nose before school. "I'm okay! She didn't mean it....I'm fine!" She's just playing, but she's doing some serious damage to our Eli!
So we've had to lay down some ground rules. When she's in a playful mood, Eli's not allowed to be down on the floor with her, or anywhere she can have access to his face. Before she came to be with us, she'd been put in with the adult dogs for a couple of weeks. Eli is about the same size as those big dogs, and we think she's trying to play with him the way she might have played with the larger dogs. Sami doesn't understand that she can hurt him, that he's not a toy or another dog, or that she can't play rough with him. So another new rule is that there's no rough-house playing, and no tug of war. Sami cannot differentiate between what is okay to tug on, and what isn't. So for now, there will be none of that. When she's calm and sleepy, then he can snuggle with her, pet her and be down with her, because she doesn't bite at people or try to chew on everyone and everything when she's all sleepy.
Other than those things, she has adjusted quite well. Housebreaking is a slow process, but that's to be expected. We're crate training her and she seems to be doing very well with that! She'll still cry a little, but usually 5 minutes or less, and she's doing really well with sleeping the night. Overall, we're all learning mutual respect, and we're working with her to begin learning some basic commands. It's going to take a while, but it will be worth it in the long run. Sami is a sweet, sweet girl! I'm with Eli .... I love her so much too!
I've been so impressed how involved Eli has been with her. The dog has held his interest. Yesterday, he took her outside on his own, clipped her to the run line and then the two of them sat together in the yard for some quality bonding time. He loves to throw sticks and the tennis ball for her and Sami is proving what a talented "fetch" player she is! She also loves to dig and carry sticks, as well as trying to eat them (we do our best to stop her from succeeding at that!) I've noticed that when Eli is taking care of Sami, he comes across more mature, more like a kid who's about to turn 10 years old (which he is!), than the younger version of himself that he typically presents to the world.Since Eli often acts so much younger than his years, it's easy for us to forget that he's not a tiny little kid. I realized a little over a year ago that we were all babying him, doing everything for him, and assuming he wasn't capable of doing things for himself. I saw it, and started making everyone else aware of what we were doing as well.
Eli wasn't thrilled with being suddenly forced to start doing things for himself. There was a lot of whining, fits of frustration, proclamations of "I can't do it! It's too hard! Can't you just do it, this one more time?!"
But he did learn, it just took time and patience, and now he does so many things on his own that a year ago he didn't feel he could. He packs his own lunch, he empties and loads the dishwasher when it's his week to do so, he takes his turn to clean the sink or toilet in the hall bathroom, he puts his clothes away, brings the dumpster up from the road and puts it back in place after the trash truck comes, folds loads of towels, and he takes his turns doing several other weekly chores. Sure there's still a little whining and complaining about having to do it - heck, sometimes I whine about the things I have to do also - but gone is the day when Eli believes he can't do it.
Working with Eli to help him gain confidence has given me more patience than I once had, probably because it's been so rewarding. It's fabulous to watch him decide to take care of his responsibilities, gathering up any supplies he might need, and tackling the job with confidence. Helping him to learn these tasks has empowered him!
So if your child is dealing with challenges of his or her own, I urge you to help him be a part of your family team by having chores and responsibilities in the house, no matter how small. Yes, it will require you to invest your time in helping him how to do the task, but eventually, your child will learn it, and how phenomenal will that be?! It will be such a confidence builder! Who doesn't love those "Hey Mom, look what I can do!!!" moments?! Our kids may not say it, but the effect on us parents is the same...maybe even greater. I take such pride every time I watch Eli self-assuredly gathering up the toilet cleaner and toilet brush and head in to complete the chore that he knows perfectly well how to do, all by himself. It's just one more thing I don't take for granted.
I think training Sami is going to have a similar effect on me. Right now she's a puppy with her own agenda, but I know in time she'll learn. I just have to keep working with her. And I want Eli to be a big part of helping to train her. I wonder if he'll experience the same kind of pride watching her one day that I experience when I watch him?
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