Will Monkey Survive?



Sami seems to have grown a lot in the last week!

 Tomorrow is the big day when we go pick up Sami, our new Yellow Lab!  Eli is beside himself with excitement!  He informed me yesterday that he might play an hour of video games, but otherwise, he'd be playing with the dog.  That's one heck of a sacrifice for him!  He doesn't give up his gaming all that easily! 

Truth be told, we're all pretty excited.  I know she's going to be a lot of work, but the whole family is finally in sync in being ready for this precious Godsend.  And I especially have great hopes for the bond Sami and Eli will make as the years go forward.

This afternoon, I began to think about this new addition to our famliy and was feeling all happy, until a sudden thought hit me like a ton of bricks. 

New Puppy + Eli's Stuffed Monkey = One Possible Catastrophe. 

Oh boy.



Eli enjoying a Where's Waldo book...let's play
WHERE'S MONKEY in this picture and all the rest below...

"Monkey" is Eli's best friend.  And I don't say that lightly or facetiously.  Eli goes very few places without Monkey, and quite often if Monkey didn't make it into the building with us, he's at least waiting in the car. 

He's a brown and cream little guy with a sweet face and a body that was once stuff with little round plastic "beans", like a bean bag, but over time he's become rather "flat" and hollow.  Most of his beans are missing from his upper body, but Eli loves him just the way he is. 

A good friend of Eli's has a similar monkey, but the friend's monkey is stuffed with stuffing.  It's a fatter, more robust monkey, and Eli doesn't care for how the other monkey feels.  To him, his own Monkey feels just right and good and perfect.  And he loves it so!  Eli will get very upset if you refer to Monkey as a "stuffed animal" and will argue with you, insisting that Monkey is REAL!  And to Eli, Monkey IS real! 

To Eli, Monkey is comfort and love and Monkey doesn't judge him.  Monkey never gets upset with him, or frustrated, and Monkey is soft and comforting.  In Eli's own words, "Monkey is awesome.  He's nice and strong and we're close because we spend a lot of time together.  Monkey is always there for me." 

I'm suddenly very concerned about Monkey's well-being, with having a new puppy in the house, and what will happen if Sami and Monkey have an unfortunate encounter. 



At Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
Can you find Monkey?
(And those are models of Forrest Gump's shoes,
NOT Ash's feet!)

Monkey has become an accepted member of our family over the last few years.  No one remembers where Monkey came from, if he was purchased or given as a gift....it just seems that Monkey has always been with us!  Usually the last thing I ask Eli before bed is, "Do you have Monkey"  The last thing we ask before leaving the house is generally, "Are you taking Monkey?" Upon opening his eyes in the morning, the first thing Eli searches for is what has become of Monkey during the night!

One time, about a year ago, Monkey had fallen down behind a basket out of the bed during the night, and he was not easy to find.  When Eli could not locate him the next morning, we had quite the dramatic scene of panic and hysterical crying.  Eli spent a good bit of time searching, and it took a lot of patience and coaxing to get him back on track to get ready for school. 

Thankfully during the day, Daddy, who had recently retired at that point, spent some time searching and was able to find Monkey's where-abouts.  Eli was one relieved, happy-camper when he came home to discover Monkey safe and sound, and found! Eli ended up writing a story about the experience for one of his class projects.

As smart as Eli is, and despite the fact that he's nearly ten years old, he remains delayed emotionally by several years. In simple terms, he acts younger than his years.  Perhaps one day he'll catch up with himself.  He's capable of faking it pretty well when he's with his male peers, and in other people's homes, which tells me he'll get there eventually.   At home, however, or whenever he's with people he knows he's completely safe with, he is still prone to baby-talking and he is as attached to his stuffed monkey as any young child would be to a security blanket. 

Imagine taking a 3 year old's blanket away and telling them it was gone for good...can you imagine the hysterics that would ensue?  The anger?  The crying? 




Eli and Monkey riding the
Merry-Go-Round at Ober Gatlinburg

 

That's my fear for what would occur should Sami get ahold of and destroy Monkey!  I would like to think that Eli would be able to adapt, but it's unrealistic for me to assume it would be that easy.  Afterall, dealing with sudden changes can be a challenge for E on a good day.  It's hard to fathom the grieving process Eli would go through, should Monkey come to a destructive end!

We've already talked about keep things up off the floor so Sami won't be able to get to them, mainly for her safety but also so items won't be destroyed.  Our last dog taught us enough valuable lessons about that, and those items were generally on shelves and cabinets! 

Eli's already decided that he's going to just leave Monkey on his bed.  Hopefull that will keep his friend safe.  I'm grateful Ben will be home all day to keep an eye on our new joy!  But I'm considering a concrete vault to lock Monkey in when Eli's not home in order to keep Monkey safe!  (not really...but maybe!)  And what about that one time when E slips and leaves Monkey laying on the ground next to him, while he's gaming or playing with his Guys, just like he is used to doing, and Sami snags Monkey up??  I shudder to think!!!

 

Kim, Ash, Eli AND MONKEY rode the Go-Carts.
Can you see Monkey? 

I'm thinking we're all going to have to really help Eli to be mindful about what he's doing with his Best Buddy!  Maybe, just maybe Eli will be so captivated with Sami that he'll decide to put his stuffed friend away, and that it is okay because the real, live friend is so much better! 

Aha!  There's a thought!  This could possibly be a turning point for Eli! 






Eli & Monkey with a really big bear



When we take Sami for obedience training in the Fall, when she's old enough, I want Eli to be a part of that, if it's permissible for someone his age to be in the training sessions.  I want to have him be a part of helping to train her because I'm hoping that it will just be one more step in forming the bond between the two of them, and it might be an educational experience for him all the way around. 

I look forward to watching the relationship between boy and dog develop and grow.  Dogs are a great source of comfort, even if they are not specially trained.  My hope is that Sami will help to calm Eli when he becomes upset.  Perhaps she'll instinctively know to go lay beside him when she senses his anxiety rising.  Maybe if he's feeling tense and emotional, being able to reach out and pet her soft fur, and have her nuzzle and cuddle and lick him, will be enough of a distraction, and have sufficient comfort that it will calm him before the emotional storm unleashes itself.  

Perhaps as that takes place, the insatialbe need for Monkey will slowly recede and Sami, a living, breathing source of comfort and non-judgmental love will move in to fill the void.  It's a possibility. Maybe it in time it will be comfort enough to know Monkey is still around, even if he's put away in box.

I still want Monkey to remain safe though because he's a very special part of Eli's childhood.  As Eli himself said, "Monkey is always there for me."  When he's 60 years old I want him to be able come across his special friend, maybe show his grandkids, "This is Monkey.  When I was about your age, he was my constant companion and he gave me a lot of comfort."