Preparing for a huge event

My sister is getting married this Saturday, on St. Patrick's Day, and we are all involved in the wedding.  I'm the matron-of-honor, Ben and Ash are serving as ushers, and Eli is the Ring Bearer, although he will not actually carry the rings, as is the custom these days.  He'll have a pillow to carry, and possibly "fake rings" tied on to the ribbons, but I'm not sure...maybe he'll just have the pillow. 

Either way, I think he'll handle the honor quite well.  We'll practice Friday night and he's a smart guy...he'll probably have the details of what happens down better than the rest of us will. 

My biggest concern is keeping his shoes on him throughout the ceremony and the pictures afterward.  My understanding is that "tux shoes" are not always comfortable.  That will be doubly annoying for E. I've already talked with him about them, and I'm hoping we've reached a compromise. 

"If they aren't comfy, you need only keep them on during the actual wedding ceremony and until the pictures afterward are completed...then, if they hurt your feet, you can take them off and go in your sock feet to the reception." 

He said okay. 

Let's hope he's willing to stick to that once the shoes are on!  Let's hope the shoes are not too bad and aren't at all painful because I can see him slipping them off before he walks down the aisle and leaving them in the hall. 

Then he'd say, "What?!  They hurt my feet!"

I have visions of E running around the Reception in his socks, and as time goes by, bits of the tux will be removed and left scattered throughout the room as the clothing begins to annoy him.  The shoes will be under our table. The jacket on a chair somewhere over there.  The vest is lying under the buffet table.  The cummerbund is floating in the punch bowl...

Yeeaaaahhhh...we'll have to establish a place to pile items ahead of time, should he decide to remove them! 

I've been thinking of how we need to plan this out for Eli.  It is imperative we have a plan in place and we've talked to him about what will happen, what is expected of him, what is involved, so that there are no surprises, and he knows well in advance what to expect.  Especially how much TIME is going to be involved.  He needs to know up front this isn't going to be a few minutes and then he can go back home.  We'll need to let him know how all the activity we're involved in this weekend is going to unfold, and how it's going to start early Friday morning, and stretch through until Sunday afternoon.

I think I'll create a written-out schedule for him to hold on to and check when he needs to so he'll know what's coming up.  That will give him a measure of control over what is happening and give him the ability to plan ahead, on his own, for what is coming up.  He may discard it...he may utilize it.  I'll leave it up to him to choose.

I'm concerned he'll begin his "I'm booooored" routine 30 minutes into the reception and start demanding to go home.  I'll have to think of some entertainment to bring along.  His "Guys" (action figures), the PSP - gotta make sure it's charged up - maybe some snacks in the event he refuses to eat the glorious, yummy food that will be at the reception.  OH!  Maybe I'll get a couple of disposable cameras and give him the job of getting some decent pictures of people he knows!  They'll be nice little additions to Rachel and Kevin's album, if they turn out nicely.   

I have to think about the Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner the night before as well, and talk about it with him so he knows what is going to be happening.  We'll have a couple of trips to Columbus this weekend as well.  I should probably talk to him when there are no distractions...so I think we'll go to dinner tonight, where we can have a conversation without cartoons or video games pulling his attention away.  Otherwise, it will be overwhelming to him, and he'll stop listening after about 2 minutes.  "Can we stop talking about this now!"

Preparing all children ahead of time for events that are coming up is crucial, but for Eli, it's the difference between a good experience for him, or a bad experience for everyone! 

Overall, he does a great job.  He's come such a long way in the last 5 years, and I'm so proud of the good job he does for the most part.  But I still recognize that it's hard on him.  The stress of being in a place other than home (his favorite place to be!), surrounded by a mixture of people, many of whom he won't know.  The noise.  The uncomfortable shoes.  The fact that he can't just run around and do whatever he wants, but must spend some of the time sitting in a chair at a table.   Wearing clothes that look great, but aren't necessarily built for comfort.  Heck, that's hard for ANY kid, and even for some adults!!  For Eli, it's a sensory overload just waiting to happen.  I suspect he'll have a reaction later that night.  But it'll be okay...I'm ready for it and I'll get Ben and Ash ready for it as well.  We'll work through it, and we'll get him the alone time he needs after we get home so he can "detox" from his senses for a few hours.

We'll spend time talking about what he might see or experience.  We've learned not to surprise him, and I suspect he's going to do just fine.  I'm just thankful the full moon has passed and he's operating in a much calmer state this week!