Working on communication skills

Friday evenings, since the beginning of the school year, have been very difficult for Eli. 

He's tired. 

He's been super grouchy. 

He's quick with the negative attitude, the whiny responses, and the sarcasm. 

He's prone to meltdowns and over-reactions. 

I get it.  By the time Friday evening rolls around, I'm "done" with the week too! 

I'm tired.

I'm cranky. 

I'm not wanting any noise...I just want to have it be soft and relaxing. 

I definitely and totally get it.

This morning, very aware that it was Friday again, I talked with Eli about a new approach I would like to take with him.  I reminded him that the last month of Fridays have been ugly.  I didn't want to have a repeat this evening, so how about we try something new?! 

He looked at me, so I knew he was listening.

First I validated his emotions, saying I completely understood that he would be very tired from a long week, and from working so hard at school.  I realized that it's a strain and that we all go through this feeling and that it makes perfect sense he would be feeling this way. 

Then I asked if, this afternoon when Eli gets home from school, if he's feeling upset, angry, stressed, or just yucky in general, if he would be willing to just say it out loud to us, "I don't feel all that good right now!" as a reminder to help us know where he was right then.  To help us meet him where he is. 

I assured him that we would be understanding of his feelings, and help him in any way we could.  I told him I realized he probably wouldn't be able to tell us EXACTLY what was upsetting him, or EXACTLY what he needed, but if he would just try to SAY it to us, it would help us to help be respectful of him.  And if Eli was able to tell us what he needed us to do right then, for him, in order to help him, then definitely tell us! 

Eli listened, and after I was done he was thoughtful for a moment.  Then he said, "Okay" and that was the end of that conversation. 

We shall see how things progress!  I'm not expecting miracles right off the bat, but if we can start helping him learn how to express what he's going through and what his needs are, it will be a major blessing down the road and in the future!