Christmas and Autism

I collect Santa Clauses. Tonight they supervised as we finished the tree 

Christmastime can be difficult for those on The Autism Spectrum, especially children who have not yet mastered their coping skills.  The sensory overload can be overwhelming for these children. Bright lights, loud noises, extra people, upset routines, maybe traveling, going to other people's houses where the environment is different, and the rules are more strict and the expectations feel more demanding.....

Christmastime is a big Meltdown just waiting to happen.

I regularly read several other autism blogs.  I have learned so much about what others are dealing with, how many families are going through similar situations that we too live through, as well as how many are living with situations very different from ours.  Either way, I take great comfort in learning about their days and nights, their experiences and advice...it makes the isolation fade away!

2012 Christmas Tree at the Brooks' household

At this time of year I'm grateful Eli is able to handle Christmas festivities ..for the most part anyway.  I have read of children who are unable to handle the lights, the changes in the house caused by decorating, the sounds and smells and other sensory overloads that are all around.  I checked with Eli tonight while  we were decorating the tree, "Eli....does it bother you at all when we change the living room around by putting the tree in it?"

He said, "No, I don't mind."

Thank goodness, right?  It's just never occurred to me to ask him before!!  I'm still learning here and it's amazing how much I still take for granted!  I mean really...most parents never think about having to check with their child if the Christmas lights are too much or the tree might alter the room too much?!  I never thought about how the lights and the decorations and the tree or the Christmas Music might effect him.  Not until I read some other blogs and realized..."Wow!  That might actually be an issue!"

Christmastime always brings a sense of excitement, which means an increase in activity for Eli, which means more potential of getting in trouble at school due to increased disruptive behaviors.  History tells me we'll hear more baby talk out of Eli over the next few weeks, and his emotions are likely to be all over the place.  But this is the life we know...the one we live daily and adapt to as needed.  In our house, Eli is often the one who sets the tone and we adapt to assist him through the rough patches as well as celebrate the happy times.  It's just our "normal".

Last night we started getting the tree up and finally finished it this evening by putting on the ornaments.  The whole process is a big job anyway, but since Ben can't help this year after having back surgery a month ago, it just took the boys and me that long to get it done.

I watched Eli start with enthusiasm, rediscovering ornaments from years past and finding special places for each one.  One year, we made bird nests together, glued in little birds, tiny craft eggs  and a clothespin on the bottom of each to clip to the branches.  I usually spread the bird nests out to strategic places in the tree where they peek out cleverly, as if they came in with the tree... but this year, Eli lined them up all together on one branch and was so excited that he'd made a little Bird Neighborhood. He was quite pleased with his work. It may become a new tradition!

Eli's Bird Neighborhood in our Christmas tree

So far, so good, I was thinking, as we each added more and more ornaments to the tree. He seemed to be having a good time.  Then I noticed Eli flop into my recliner and begin to just watch.  The branches were filling up with our many, many ornaments collected over the years and it was getting difficult to find an empty spot to put another.  He didn't say so, but I suspect he was getting a little anxious about it, feeling a little stress at having to search high and low for an empty branch.

It was simply too much for him.

Big Brother of course chided Little Brother, as brothers do. "Hey!  How come we're doing all the work?  Why are you just sitting there?!"

Eli stated it clearly and definitively...."I'm done."

And that was that.  He'd done all he was able to do and so he stopped!  He knew his limit.  Whether it was consciously or instinctively, I am unsure, but I respected his decision and just let him be.

He watched us for a while, offering conversation and joining in the banter.  Still a part of the family time, but separated enough to be on comfortable ground...in a place where he could deal with it.

Around 7:30 p.m. we'd finally hung the last ornament, and I looked over at my Eli.

Apparently, tree decorating is exhausting.