One year ago today......

One year ago today we received Eli's diagnosis of PDD-NOS.  One year ago today, our family's life changed direction and started on a new path from which there is no return.  On the anniversary of that day, I look back and think about how much has changed.  

And how much has stayed the same.  

I think of all the Dr. appointments over the past year, and all the parent/teacher conferences and all the meltdowns.  I think of all that Eli has learned how to do by himself, the progress he's made, the accomplishments he's achieved.  I think about the two steps forward, the three steps back and how it seems like our lives just go round and round in this big looping circle, over and over and over, but somehow...somehow....we've still managed to move forward a little bit.  There's no following a straight line between point A and point B in this family's life.  Oh no....we spin round and round, but eventually we get there.

I think of how our family has grown closer, how we've learned more about acceptance and compassion, how we've extended this new understanding beyond our family and reached out to strangers with a kinder, gentler heart and shown them brief moments of love.  A smile.  A kind word.  Or simply by making eye contact and acknowledging them...letting them know we see them and we accept them as they are.

So this day has been an enlightening one for me.  It's been a reminder that a whole year has passed by....and how short a time that really is...and that we've only just begun.  It's only been one year...the first year... of the rest of our lives.  There's no end, but we've certainly moved forward in this journey, if only a small distance.  Our family is solid.  We embrace the future, the challenges, the joys, the Wins! and even the failures, because we learn from those and get smarter.

One year ago today, Dr. Bob told us our son had autism.  And look where we are today.

When you don't know what to say

I'm having trouble writing.

It's certainly not from a lack of things to say.  I could write volumes upon volumes of all that was are dealing with these days.  Somehow the things we're dealing with are far too personal to write about and share here.

Eli's been going through some very difficult problems, but to share them here with the world seems unkind.  I want to celebrate his accomplishments here.  I want to share some of the eccentricities which he displays here, so people recognize why and they accept him as is.  But we're going through changes and challenges that are troublesome these days.  These things have caused some major upheaval to our lives.  I don't feel I can share them here. I don't feel they are appropriate to publicly write about.  I feel they would be unfair and embarrassing for Eli, and I never want him to feel uncomfortable with the blog...he's been in support of it up to now, and I don't want that to change.

So while we struggle through these difficult times alongside E, I feel I am limited on what I can say.  And that makes it difficult to keep up the blog.  I pray you bear with me during these dry spells, and just keep us in your prayers as we work through the tough times.  A recent medication change may be helpful in correcting some of the tough stuff.  Maybe if it goes away and becomes a thing of the past, then perhaps I will feel comfortable in writing about it.

Here in a couple of weeks I will be going in to talk with the entire 5th grade class at Eli's school in order to explain Tourette Syndrome to them.

I don't even know if I know enough about TS to explain it!

I'm hoping the school counselor, whose idea this was in the first place, will help to give me some guidance.  So that should be an interesting experience and one I'll be able to write about!

Til then............